I have heard about this book since I was a young teenager. And I have glanced at hundreds of books that were shameless rip-offs in every bookstore I have ever visited. In fact, after having read this classic self-help life coaching manual, I am left to believe that every other self-help book is a plagiarized version of Carnegie's ideas on public speaking and living. Indeed, my overall impression of this book is that Carnegie's ideas are so simple and pervasive in modern business that reading the book is almost rendered unnecessary. But it is nonetheless interesting to go back to the original source.
Carnegie's fundamental thesis is nothing other than the golden rule: Do unto others as we would have them do unto us. His genius lies in showing how taking such an approach can benefit you individually. Carnegie recognizes that everyone is inherently selfish and does not attempt to deny the fact. Rather, he uses our intrinsic self-interest as a means to motivate towards better and more considerate behavior towards others. Remembering names, avoiding contention, showing interest in others, being humble all enable business owners, parents, friends, co-workers etc. achieve what they want in their interactions with others. The "secret" is simply choosing-through self-interest alone- to be the one person who is not explicitly acting in a selfish manner.
The tone of the book is positive throughout and full of success stories of individuals who applied the principals found in the book. Incidentally, the stories are a fascinating insight into the business environment of the country one century ago. Much has changed, and I suspect Carnegie's principles may be less effective in the non-personal interactions of computers, emails, and such.
The book walks a fine line between cynical manipulation and positive selflessness. The author is careful to point out at regular intervals that faking is a bad idea; to truly win friends and influence people, you have to be sincerely interested in others and be concerned for them. Despite these warnings however, the book does a poor job of showing the negative consequences of acting insincerely. A few stories showing how manipulation backfires and is morally reprehensible would have been a positive contribution. I fear however that many unscrupulous people have twisted this book's message to their own purposes. And many more have plagiarized Carnegie's style and subject material to further their own ends.
Ultimately, I find Carnegie's book an attempt to teach basic religion in a business context. While such a book can be helpful, it will likely only partially succeed because it fails to place such behavior in a broader context. Religion embeds human behavior within a narrative that supersedes any individual or community; a connection to something greater than ourselves is a basic human need that I personally believe only religion can adequately satisfy.
I find that Dale's ideas pop into my head all the time. Some of them are so foundational to human interaction, yet so seldom practiced in real life.
ReplyDeleteHere are some of the things I try to remember (with sincerity)
- A peron's name is their most valuable possession.
- Be lavish with praise.
- Give a person a good reputation to live up to.